


S.N.O.W.B.A.R.R.Y

by TwilightsInferno



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Flirting, Established Relationship, F/M, First Date, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, T for intense themes, Through Season 4 canon (mostly), biochemical meta, character study and exploration, lots and lots of angst, lots and lots of fluff, mind meta, more metas, short story collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2019-07-23 17:17:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16163363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightsInferno/pseuds/TwilightsInferno
Summary: Confessed feelings, first dates, and ever rampaging metas Barry and Caitlin's lives are never dull. Set some unnamed year in the future and follows the first few months of their relationship, but can it survive? And with a barrage of dangerous new metas, will they?Based on a tumblr ship name prompt I saw awhile ago. For each letter come up with a word for why I ship them and it turned into a full short story collection of moments that were inspired by those words. Hope you enjoy!





	1. S... is for Science

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Barry has trouble hiding his ever growing affection for his favorite doctor as they work together to crack the code of a particularly confusing meta."

                                                                 

 

 

Barry and Caitlin were at it again. Far into the night they sat huddled together in Caitlin's lab trying to work out the chemical makeup of a particularly difficult meta. One that had shown up to every fight with a different power. Which wouldn't have been too much of a problem if in their most recent confrontation he hadn't taken them by surprise with the ability to not only have different powers but change them at a moments notice as well. Right as they were about to take him down he went from shooting flames from his fingertips to launching pipes at them with his mind. Landing a few blows, they almost had him again until he brought on a cloud of hail, pelting them with baseball sized ice chunks, and then raced away at the speed of sound, leaving them completely stunned and seriously confused.

So confused that Caitlin had even asked Barry for his help in figuring it out, despite being light years beyond him in chemistry and especially in genetics. Although in truth, he was sure she just needed someone with an at least above basic understanding to bounce ideas off of rather than any actual help. Though at times he knew his level of knowledge could barely be classified as knowing compared to her’s. Goes to show you how smart Dr. Caitlin Snow truly was and he was more than happy to help, even if he was just a sounding board.

So he simply stared at her, chin resting in his hand, admittedly a little starry eyed as she spoke in that excitable way she did about anything scientific, animated even when it was something literally keeping her up at nights, a small smile pulling at him. He was barely catching a word she said in between all of his thoughts about admiring her skill and knowledge in the subject they both held dear.

“Don't you think, Barry?” Her voice finally broke through.

“Hm?” He hummed coming back to his senses as he sat up straighter in his chair beside her.

“Did you hear anything I just said?” He grimaced apologetically one side of his nose crinkling as he tried not to let his grin grow anymore than it had. Playfully she rolled her eyes at him trying not to smile herself, “So much for helping me figure this out.”

“It’s 2am, Cait,” He tried to justify with something much more reasonable than getting lost admiring her, “We really should get some rest.”

“It’s not like we haven't pulled all nighters before,” She replied matter-of-factly as she got up to pull the images she had taken through her microscope up on her computer across the room. She had always been determined and stubborn as hell, yet even though sometimes she went overboard he couldn't help but admire that too.

He spun his chair around to watch her, “Not three nights in a row. We need sleep. _You_ need sleep,” He added when he caught her trying to stifle a yawn while her back was to him.

“I’m fine,” She insisted as he got up with a snort of amusement starting over to her.

“Yeah, _okay_ ,” He said sarcastically as she looked over her shoulder briefly so he could see her scrunch her nose impertinently at him before turning back to her screen. He chuckled and settled himself at her side as she leaned forward to type without having to sit down.

Suddenly his eyes were sweeping over her, seemingly unable to stop himself from checking her out. He’s not exactly sure when it happened, when he started looking at his personal physician this way. Just over a year ago he and Iris had divorced and though (eventually) it was a relatively amicable split he still thought he was going to turn into that mop haired mess he’d seen in the future where Savitar had killed her but no, of course his Dr. Snow would never allow that.

She near single handedly brought him back from the brink by being at his side, listening to him, and giving him hope like she always had. Healing him as only a personal physician could, sewing up his broken heart like any other wound he ever had, one perfect stitch at a time. She offered for him to crash in her guest room when he hadn't wanted to sleep on Cisco’s couch another week, let him watch _Singing in the Rain_ as many times as he wanted without a single complaint as she often joined him, she even came along when Cisco insisted he had to ‘get back out there’ and forced him to go out so he didn't have to talk to anyone but her if he wasn't ready (which he wasn't). And now after such a long recovery something just clicked one day. She laughed and touched his arm, not an uncommon gesture between them certainly, in fact over the last few months Caitlin’s touches had increased noticeably. But it was only a simple touch just like all the others, a small laugh like she always gave at his jokes, a characteristic roll of her brown eyes he’d seen thousands of times, and yet it changed everything. In a blink his world was turned upside down. Like someone flicked a switch somewhere and now he could truly see her for the first time since they met.

Like how he had always enjoyed spending time with her, but now he never wanted to leave her side. Probably why he’s pulled two consecutive all nighters with her while having only minimal power naps in between and despite his verbal protests was more than happy to do a third. Completely addicted to the warmth and compassion in her eyes. Or how he had always found her attractive, but now she was just gorgeous. Always chic in style yet still utterly classic with her elegant golden age-esque red lipstick and curls; like she walked right out of one of those old musicals he loved. Minus the pitch perfect singing voice of course, but he found that cute too. Oh and did he mention he now believed everything she did, from breathing to that thinking lower lip bite she was doing now, was breathtakingly adorable?

“There's nothing here,” She huffed as she flicked through her images. Eyes skimming over the each one quickly, brows knitting tighter and tighter with every click, “Three days and we still don't know what makes his powers work. Or how they keep changing.”

“Maybe he’s like Melting Point, except for transferring powers he just replaces his own?” Barry offered, almost missing her lips twitch into a frown at the mention of the power transferring meta. He looked down slightly, “Sorry.”

She sighed, the search for Killer Frost clearly still hanging heavy over her, “It’s okay... it's not a bad idea but where is he getting the powers? And how did he switch them during your fight?”

Barry opened his mouth to speak but closed it again stumped, he didn't have to come up with anything though as Caitlin's DNA sequencer interrupted them by dinging in the corner. Together they turned to look at the machine but Barry was the one who stepped away to go check the results.

Moving over to one of Cait’s other computers he pulled up the results only to find something that made his eyebrows raise to his hairline. He had swabbed a few different samples of blood off of his suit from his fight with their ever-changing meta earlier that day but the sequencer was saying none of them matched the others. Four different samples... four different sets of DNA?

“Um... Cait?” He called, the confusion in his voice pulling her away from her images immediately as she appeared at his side.

“Are those the results?” She asked, her brows raising in surprise to directly mirror his own.

He nodded, “Yeah, the samples I took from my suit. I ran a comparison to make sure we didn't miss anything in the sequences but look at the nitrogenous bases, the patterns don’t match, it's almost as if they're all from completely different people.”

“And look here too,” She started as she pointed at the screen where the four samples were being compared, “Even the dark matter anomalies are different. It's like it's rearranged itself entirely.”

Then it was as if the light bulb went off over both their heads at once, meeting each others eyes, grins unable to be stopped as they spread across their faces.

“He kept changing powers during our fight, so fast I could barely land a blow. First fire, then kinetics, weather, speed,” Barry started pointing to each sample as he listed them, remembering which power the meta was using when it hit his suit.

Caitlin quickly bounced off his energy, her hand flying to his arm, “Not just changing his powers, he’s changing how the dark matter is affecting his genetic code! He’s splicing and reconstructing his DNA instantaneously!”

A beat passed between them, and another smile came from knowing they were thinking the same thing,

“ _Splicer_!” They shot out their metahuman name together. Laughing as they high fived, grabbing each other's hand instead of letting go, leaning into their laughter and relief to have finally cracked it. His head dipping forward as she tucked into his shoulder in their small fit. Though he couldn't help but be acutely aware of their hands still held tightly together and her close proximity the entire time.

When Caitlin finally let go, she pulled away a little slowly for how alight and buzzing her brown eyes were with ideas, face still flush from laughing.

“Alright, alright, scooch, I have some tests to run,” She grinned as she bumped his hip with her’s to playfully get him out of the way of the computer. Cisco had once said he felt violated when she had done it to him, Barry on the other hand felt nothing of the sort as he stepped away fighting a grin of his own.

He decided to let her work for the next hour or so and stay out of her way as much as possible, which mostly meant him sitting in the corner playing on his phone. Or trying to as he kept looking over the screen at her. Unable to help smiling to himself at her barely coherent mumblings and lip biting as she darted around from one thing to the next. Eventually he just gave up on his phone and leaned back in his chair. Taking in a deep breath as he folded his arms over his chest and set simply to watch her. The sounds of her soft mutterings and quiet typing lulling him, never more relaxed than when they were peacefully alone. Before he knew it his blinks were becoming longer and longer until sleep finally caught up to him.

“Barry? ...Barry?” Her voice was suddenly calling his name, giving him a gentle shake until he started awake.

“What? Oh, how long was I out?” He asked immediately trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes and mask them from the sudden lights of the lab only to open them again and find her smiling so brilliantly back at him it nearly stopped his heart. If she kept that up one of these days she may even have to restart it.

“A little over an hour and a half. I was going to let you sleep but I think I figured out how to stop Splicer and I couldn't wait to tell you,” She explained still beaming with excitement.

He smiled back, “What is it?”

Suddenly she took his hand and was pulling him up from the chair. He staggered along trying to get all his limbs in working order as she took him to her computer. And with a few quick keystrokes she pulled up a chemical break down of a formula he didn't recognize.

“I formulated a serum that should temporarily destroy Splicer’s mRNA, like argonaute proteins in RNA interference, thus-”

“Making it so his genetic changes can't be read, meaning no changing powers just long enough to throw cuffs on him,” He finished for her nodding along, a smile pulling at him as he studied the formula on her screen. It was brilliant. Three days of blocks and then suddenly she figures it out in a little over an hour. Once again he was just completely in awe of her, glancing at her like she was the smartest person he’d ever met, because really she was.

“Exactly, so now we just need to begin synthesizing and--”

“Okay, wait, hang on,” He cut her off gently, his worry for her kicking in, “This is genius, really it is, but before we even try making it I really think we should get some rest. We can finish it in the morning.”

“We’re so close, we can rest when it’s done.” She once again tried to power through it. He was always amazed by her work ethic even if it might drive her straight into the ground some days, or nights in this case. His only hope was to compromise at this point.

“What if I start it?” She raised an eyebrow questioningly and he chuckled, “I have a master's degree in chemistry, Cait, I know how to synthesize a few chemicals.”

Her big brown eyes grew even wider at the realization of what she may have implied, “Oh, Barry, no I didn't mean to suggest you were-- that you couldn't--”

He shook his head with a knowing smile. She just liked to do things herself. “Don't worry about it, I’ll leave you the hard parts, okay? You can sleep for an hour while I start the serum, I’ll wake you up, you’ll finish it, and then we can both go to sleep together,” He offered simply, only to quickly realize how it may have sounded, now wearing a similarly wide eyed expression she had just a moment ago, “Um... I mean ya know, we both go back to our homes and sleep, separately, in our own beds. Besides I already slept for like an hour, it should be your turn.”

When had he started to sound like Felicity again?

But if Caitlin found anything weird about his behavior she thankfully didn't say as she regarded him thoughtfully and then much to his relief finally caved, “Alright fine, but **one** hour, that’s it,” She stressed, making the point by raising a single index finger in an almost threatening manner towards him.

“You got it,” He smiled widely and got her to give him a fond yet tired grin and a roll of her eyes in return.

He watched as she walked out of the lab before he got to work gathering everything he needed. He quickly discovered Caitlin had collected most of it while he had been asleep before he got distracted by her returning. Now dressed in STAR labs sweats and a comfy hoodie as she moved into her main med bay, crawling into the bed that was usually reserved for him as he watched through the large window separating the rooms. He smiled to himself and set the clock once her head hit the pillow. It wasn't until a few minutes later did he realize he still needed aspartate, and that she kept it in her fireproof cabinet. The cabinet that _of course_ happened to be in the room she was sleeping in now.

He huffed and began to sneak around as silently as possible into her medical bay, wincing a little everytime his sneakers squeaked against the hard floor.  The room was dark with her sleeping, but he was quickly able to find his way with the flashlight on his phone. Grabbing her keys off her desk as he went. Once he reached the cabinet he made to open the door with the care of defusing a bomb hoping not to--

_Screech!_

He flinched as the hinges hissed loudly throughout the small area. His head whipping around so quickly it nearly gave even the speedster whiplash. Eyes landing on her sleeping form, dimly backlit by the light coming from the desk lamps in the lab on the other side of the window, everything seeming to stand still in anticipation as he held his breath. Then her chest finally rose and fell in a steady breath, she was still asleep.

He let out the air he had been holding in relief as he turned back to his task. Raising his phone to provide light, his fingers hovering over the bottles as his eyes skimmed for what he needed, an amused smile pulling at him once he realized they were all perfectly alphabetized.

And just like that he was taken by surprise once again with how much he had starting admiring everything about her. The smallest things (like alphabetized chemicals) now warming him straight to his toes or when his heart was sent fluttering as the most complex of medical terms fell from her lips with ease. Never stumbling, always so sure. How could he have ever helped himself from so hopelessly falling for her?

Now if only he could tell her.

He’d been struggling for weeks now, so much so even Cisco had caught on and begun teasing him. Joe was also asking for a progress report everytime he saw him without Caitlin. He huffed irritably as he scratched the back of his head thinking to himself, ‘ _What's the problem? You’re friends, you get along, you have fun together. She likes science, you like science. You won't run out of things to talk about at least. Just ask her out.’_ Another quieter voice snuck in with a whine, ‘ _What if she says no? What if it just ruins what we have going? What if it makes it awkward between us? Besides, she's way out of your league.’_

His clearly more confident side returned grumbling as it went, ‘ _No matter what happens, Cait isn't going anywhere. And you’re a superhero, how more ‘in league’ can you get?’_ His self consciousness quickly piped back in matter-of-factly, ‘ _You know she could care less if you're a superhero or not. Just look at Ronnie and Jay-- Hunter-- whatever, they were like twice as broad as you and square jawed. You're just not her type.’_ Barry had to admit he was siding with his more anxious side now. It made a point, he wasn't her type and sure not **every** guy she had dated was Superman-like but he was also a far cry from the gun brandishing British-accented Julian and his ridiculous Indiana Jones hat. What is it with girls and Brits anyways?

His confident mind fought it's way through the negative thoughts again; pushing them away as it raced to the forefront with what he desperately needed, hope, ‘ _But_ _what if she likes you too and is just waiting for you to make a move? What if she wants to try something new? If you wait much longer she might find someone else and then where would we be? So--’_ “You gotta stop beating around the bush, Allen. You can do this. Just say, ‘Hey Caitlin, want to go out with me sometime?’ and see what she says.”

“Yes.”

The world stopped. It took three whole deafening beats for Barry to realize he had spoken out loud and a voice had responded back. _Her voice_. No, surely he must be going crazy. Sleep deprivation finally getting to him, making him hear things. But the world started again when he turned and found her eyes wide open.

He opened his mouth to speak, to justify, backtrack, confirm, whatever but nothing came out. He just stood there gaping, caught in how the distant light was cast over her face showing him just how awake she was as her head still lay against the pillow. Staring up at him with those big brown eyes until they knit in confusion.

“Barry?” She called her voice seeming to hit play on his senses.

“Y-You heard that?” He stuttered, awkwardly pointing at her.

She nodded sleepily refusing to pick up her head, with a heavy blink and a soft smile. Looking so like she had when she asked him to stay with her until she fell asleep that night they went out to the karaoke bar. He about dissolved into molecules on the spot.

“And you...?”

“Said yes?” She offered that smile lingering on her face, “Yeah, I did. Though you may have to remind me when I wake up.”

“Oh yeah, sure, I can do that,” He nearly squeaked, cringing internally and wringing his hands, suddenly full of nervous energy that made his whole body fidget uncomfortably. Almost completely positive he would never be able to look at her again much less remind her of this moment if she forgot it in her sleepy haze.

Her giggle brought him back, “I was kidding, Barry. I won't forget. We’ll talk about it later, okay?”

All he could do was nod a bit dumbly before saying, “Yeah, yeah, of course.”

“Now get back to work, Mr. Allen, I have to be up soon,” She smirked up at him.

“Right away, Dr. Snow.” He nodded frantically before attempting to scamper off back to the lab, almost running right into one of her desks on the way out but she stopped him with a soft,

“Barry. The aspartate.”

“Right.”

He turned on his heel quickly. Skipping strides as he hurried back to the cabinet, eyes focused on the floor in embarrassment before grabbing the bottle he needed and securely locking the cabinet looking back at Caitlin with an awkward smile.

She gave him a fond one in return through tired eyes, “Remember, one hour.”

“One hour,” He confirmed before leaving her to sleep, unable to stop blushing as he walked back to the lab and got to work.

But as he began synthesizing the necessary chemicals a grin spread across his face and he may have let her sleep a little longer than he promised. Time getting away from him as his mind and soaring heart got lost in the thought that she had actually said yes. Replaying the exchange over and over in his mind. Besides she said he had slept for an hour and a half, a little longer was only fair. Personally though, he was now wide awake with enough energy he wondered if he would ever have to sleep again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! And I wanted to say a quick thank you to my amazing friend who helped me out with all the science and technical stuff for this entire story!
> 
> If you want to check out the full set of covers I did for this because I was in a writer's block lol you can find those on my tumblr. Just copy and paste the link at the end of this note. Sorry I couldn't get it to embed properly.
> 
> http://twilightsinferno.tumblr.com/post/178297334143/snowbarrycovers


	2. N... is for Natural

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Caitlin is nervous for her and Barry’s first date, only to find maybe that's natural and so are they."

                                                                 

 

To be perfectly honest, Caitlin Snow had thought she'd been dreaming when Barry had asked her on a date. How his loud opening of her chemical cabinet had woken her up, still fighting to open her eyes as she heard him say, ‘ _Hey Caitlin, want to go out with me sometime?_ ’ and she had said yes without a thought.

Finally getting her eyes open she had found him standing there in his endearingly awkward way, fidgeting like he didn't know what to do with all his limbs, rambling quite cutely about something she couldn't quite remember before trying to run off without what he came for certainly felt dreamlike enough. But when he had woken her up the second time he didn't say anything about it so she hadn't either, chalking up the incident as all in her head. Even if the notion that it wasn't real left a hollow pang in her chest.

She was certainly hitting new lows in her long standing crush if _that_ was what she was dreaming about now.

Or so she thought she was until the morning after they finally caught Splicer. It started just like most mornings, Barry stopped by before work and set the coffee he routinely got for her on her desk while she thanked him then continued typing away. But this time he hovered rather than going to see Cisco, shifting on his feet before leaning against the table’s edge. Wringing his hands together then crossing his arms seemingly unable to decide what to do with himself as he beamed that megawatt smile of his without looking at directly at her.

She furrowed her brows at him as she watched. Was he excited about something?

His behavior piqued her curiosity even more though as he rubbed the back of his neck like he always did when something was on his mind before bashfully saying, “So... it's _later_...”

Her eyes immediately widened like saucers. She quickly turned her face away, letting her hair fall to block his view, “Yeah... so it is.”

She didn't need to see Barry's reaction to know he was frowning now, but what was she supposed to say? Her mind was still reeling from the realization that maybe it hadn’t all been a dream.

“Do you remember anything I said?” He asked slowly. She nodded biting at her lower lip nervously, mind grasping desperately at what to do as he continued talking, “Do you still want to? You know... go out with me? I, I mean if you don't I understand. You were tired so I get it if you misheard me or--”

“Barry,” She said finally looking at him, stopping him in his tracks. She tried to focus through the distraction of his adorably confused expression. What happened was _real_ , he _had_ asked her on a date, and his follow up _proved_ it wasn't a mistake. If he hadn't meant it then he wouldn't be here now. And here he was, not trying to pretend like it didn’t happen. This was _real_. Finally at that thought she smiled unable to help herself, “Of course I still want to go out with you.”

His brilliant grin was back, this time fully shining on her. It was hard not to feel like her stomach was doing backflips as she turned her gaze away shyly. Sometimes she hated he how could do this to her so easily.

“Great!” He said a bit too enthusiastically before clearing his throat, “I mean, um, what do you want to do?”

“Oh I don't know, surprise me.” She had shrugged and was now deeply wishing she hadn't.

It was a few minutes until seven o'clock on Friday night as Caitlin, with nothing left to do after cleaning her apartment three times, paced anxiously waiting for him to arrive. She groaned. Why had she said that? She hated surprises and now she had challenged Barry to one. She already knew she was going to regret this.

Her mind flashed back to their not-a-date at the karaoke bar years ago. Where she had drank too much out of nerves, made a complete fool of herself, and wore a dress far too revealing. All while having to force herself to not blush uncontrollably as Barry looked at her like he had been struck by lightning a second time. Yes, she was hopelessly head over heels for him back then too and had never managed to shake it. Now she could only pray this time it would go better, or if she was lucky she at least wouldn't be such a disaster.

She checked herself in the mirror once more. Having texted Barry earlier to ask what she should wear, he responded with ‘ _Uh... casual date night but potential lab safety_ ’ whatever that meant, and now she wasn't sure if she made the right decision.

Still, she aimed for the nicer side, opting for a simple form fitting dress, its length dropping just below her mid thigh with long sleeves for the suspected fall chill that night. The v-shaped neckline admittedly dipped a little lower than her usual work fashion while a thin belt was fitted at her waist over the soft sweater like fabric. For ‘lab safety’, as Barry suggested, she had tied her hair into a loose French braid that could be easily pinned back but for now rested on her shoulder. And then she finished it off by donning her favorite red lipstick, heeled ankle boots, and a simple set of gold accessories. But even though she had meticulously picked out her outfit she now couldn't help pulling at her clothes nervously as she second guessed her every decision.

Was it too revealing? No, it certainly wasn't the small black glittery dress she sang karaoke in but now was she being too chaste? Or perhaps too casual? Not casual enough? Would he get the wrong impression one way or the other? Question after question spun around her head and almost ran back to her room to change but was stopped by the unexpected knock on her door.

Her eyes flew to the clock on the wall that clearly read seven. There was no way. He was never on time. And yet when she checked through the peephole then pulled open her door there he stood with a big dopey grin that was so bright it was almost blinding. Looking quite charming in a button up shirt and green sweater combo that matched her dress almost to the shade (‘ _How does he always manage to do that?_ ’ She wondered to herself for at least the hundredth time over the years they’ve known each other). Finally her eyes fell to his hands where a small but beautiful bouquet was held.

“H-Hey,” He stuttered out, his eyes sweeping over her, that lightning struck look on his face again. She tried to force herself not to smile too much or blush with his eyes on her but the task was easier said than done.

“Hey to you too,” She replied shyly but he only stared a few moments more as if he hadn't heard her so she said the first thing that came to her mind, “You’re on time.”

His smile instantly shifted into one of mild embarrassment as her words registered and he scratched the back of his neck, avoiding her eyes, “Yeah... I was kinda standing out here for a while, just to make sure I was.”

Caitlin couldn't help but wonder how long ‘a while’ was but spared him further awkwardness by smiling and pointing to the flowers in his hand, “Are those for me?”

“Yeah, they are. I hope you like them. I didn't know your favorite flower so I sorta guessed. Years of friendship and I never bothered to ask, weird huh?” He rambled as he sprang into action holding the flowers out to her.

“They’re great, Barry. And for future reference my favorite flower is geraniums,” She reassured him as she took the bouquet. He nodded, simply processing the information though she was sure he had never heard of the flower before or its dozens of medical uses. But the thought he was still committing it to memory made her have to bite back another grin, “You can come on in, I’ll just put these in a vase and then we can go?”

“Sounds good,” Barry agreed, closing the door behind him and shoving his hands in his pockets as she walked over to the sink.

He looked so out of place in her living room while he glanced around, absently eyeing the stock photos on her walls and prints of IKEA art. Her apartment was admittedly rather lifeless and she never liked staying here for long. It was too quiet, too big for just her, and too lonely with any small personal touches residing almost solely in her bedroom. The rest was just for show, and yet there Barry was in the middle of it and as always anything but lifeless and never impersonal. It wasn't as if he hadn't been there dozens of times before, he even slept in her guest room for a short time, but seeing him here, now, waiting to take her on a date. That feeling was completely new.

When he glanced her way and met her eyes he smiled again. The warmth instantly flooded over the entire space, transforming it completely around him to a place she’d so suddenly be okay never leaving it startled her. If he could do that to a simple room what would happen if she dared to let him in any further than he had already gotten? The thought and his grin made her look away again to hide the pink that was forming quickly across her cheeks.

“So....” She droned out as she put the flowers in their vase. Trying not to sound hesitant as she asked, “What are we doing tonight exactly? Your message was rather cryptic.”

Dipping his head a bit shyly Barry pulled a brochure out of his back pocket, holding it out to her with a small sheepish grin. She gave him a curious look as she took the packet examining the glossy cover with a building she recognized but had never went too.

“The Central City Museum of Science and Industry?” She read aloud and Barry nodded, fidgeting slightly on his feet.

“Uh... yeah. I used to go all the time with my parents as a kid, I was obsessed with the place, and then Joe took me a few times but Iris never wanted to stay for long and-- _damn_ ,” Barry cursed under his breath suddenly.

“What’s wrong?” She asked as her gaze shot up to him, trying to keep her mind from racing to worst case scenarios, metahuman or otherwise.

He sighed and waved off her concern for anything drastic, looking a bit ashamed of himself, “I just read somewhere you're not supposed to mention your exes on the first date, or five.”

“Barry,” She called softly getting him to look at her, “You grew up with Iris, she was your best friend almost your whole life. Of course she’s going to be mentioned. I also think you're forgetting I was there for quite a bit of your relationship.”

“Right,” He chuckled awkwardly before quickly changing topics, “Anyway, um, so this thing it's called After Dark and it's basically an adult only event with food and drinks and music and you can go through the museum and exhibits with no kids around and each one always has a new theme that they do special exhibits and panels for and this month it's ‘Metahumans and the New Age’ and I just thought it'd be fun to give it a try, you know?”

Caitlin blinked a few times as she tried to process all the information he had given her suddenly. His face fell in a second.

“I mean if you don't want to we can just do something else, no big deal,” He reassured her quickly but that only made her smile and laugh, adding to his confusion.

“No, no, that sounds... _really_ fun actually,” She told him honestly, she hadn't been on a date that sounded that fun in ages and was rewarded with that shining smile that sent a tingle straight to her toes, “Let me just grab my coat.”

“Okay,” He said happily as he waited by her door.

She hurried back from her closet in the hall as she pulled on her favorite creme coat that belted at her waist, “You know I’ve never been to the science museum as long as I’ve lived here.”

“For real? Well it's pretty awesome. They have all these cool experiments and exhibits and their main attraction right now is called a ‘Light Lab’, it's all about light illusions. It was really cool from the photos I saw online,” He explained excitedly as they left her apartment and she grabbed her purse before locking the door behind her.

“I can’t wait to see it,” She smiled back at him. But when he reached to pick her up she instantly moved a step backwards, an unexpected panic jolting through her like she’d been shocked, “What are you doing?”

“I was going to run us there,” He answered, eyebrows knitting at her reaction, “Is that not okay?”

“It’s just...” She started but got lost as her mind began to race. She had no idea what she was doing. She loved being carried by Barry when he ran but now her insides suddenly twisted so tight at the thought of him holding her she wasn't sure she could do it. All her stupid fuzzy thoughts about him warming her heart like he had her apartment vanished as suddenly as being dumped in cold water. She felt sick. Worried that this was a mistake and wanted to call the whole thing off. She had said yes without thinking, what if that one careless moment ruined their friendship for good? She didn't need any relationship from Barry other than him as a friend, even if she had hoped otherwise for longer than she cared to admit, but now her rashness could have ruined it forever.

“Just...?” Barry prompted her from her thoughts.

“My hair,” She blurted out without thinking, again. She really had to stop doing that. She was starting to sound like Felicity.

“Your... hair?” He asked understandably confused, she was too.

“Uh, yeah, you know when you run my hair gets all messed up and it looks... horrible,” She rambled, the last word falling out meekly as she winced. It was such an awful excuse, it sounded so shallow.

Barry seemed to at least somewhat see right through it though as he chuckled, “As long as I’ve known you, Cait, your hair has never looked horrible.”

“Even after you’ve blown it all over the place?” She countered skeptically. Her pride not quite letting her move on from her excuse despite how terrible it was.

That's when he smiled shyly as he gave a small shrug, his green eyes darkening a shade as he glanced at her, and it nearly made her face go red when he quietly said, “I’ve always thought your hair looked good a little windblown...”

“Oh.” Was all she was able to intelligently reply, surely no one listening in could’ve guessed she had two doctorates and a Ph.D.

“But we can take your car if that's better.”

“No, no. I’m sorry Barry. It's not really my hair, it’s just that, I’m a little nervous I guess,” She admitted with a heavy sigh. He deserved the truth. If she wanted this to work (and she really did want it to work) then they couldn't start dancing around the issues now. As much as it made her flush to admit and knowing he’d probably say something like, ‘ _You don't have to be nervous, it's just me_ ,’ without understanding that was just the problem. It was the fact he was Barry Allen, one of her best friends, her confidante, her rock, the boy she's harbored a years old underlying affection she didn't quite understand for, that made her so nervous. He meant _too_ much to lose.

Instead he surprised her even after all this time by bashfully uttering, “Yeah... I’m a bit nervous too.”

“Really?”

“Well... yeah. You're one of my best friends, Cait, and I don't want to mess it up, you know?”

She nodded because of course he was feeling the same way she was. It felt like her senses had finally flooded back into her as her heart rate slowed. They’d always been so in sync why would now be any different? They were on this precipice together, he had been the one to ask her after all, they got here together. Both of them being anxious about the jump they were trying to make was more than understandable, it was natural.

“Something tells me you're not going to mess it up,” She told him with a small smile, hating to see the worry taint his face and as always in reassuring him she reassured herself. It was going to be okay especially when he returned her grin like that.

“So, uh, how are we getting there?”

“You still up for a run?”

He simply beamed with a nod and then with a raise of her arm he scooped her up into his before racing off.

When they stopped around the corner from the museum she had barely caught her bearings when suddenly he was in front of her, fingers gently flattening and straightening any wild strains of her hair then stepped back to inspect his work.

“All good?” She asked a little sheepishly, all her nerve seemingly left on her doorstep.

“All good,” He confirmed with a pleased nod before he turned to start walking. When he looked back and realized she wasn't following, too caught up in wringing her hands nervously, he smiled softly and held his hand out to her. He didn't have to say it, but she knew what he was asking, ‘ _Together?’_

She took a deep breath then grabbed his hand with a nod. ‘ _Together.’_

Once inside Barry took care of signing them in, getting their tickets scanned, grabbing badges, and checking in their coats then pocketing the return ticket all the while she looked around amazed. Booths and exhibits were everywhere with people already milling about them almost getting lost in the whirl of it.

She hadn't been at a science expo like this in years. The last time was when she had met Eobard Thawne, posing as Dr. Wells of course, at an expo held by her university after her second doctorate. She was so in awe as the top labs in the country brought out their best prototypes to woo the newest graduates. The STAR Labs bioengineering exhibit felt like it had been tailored specifically for her and looking back now she realized maybe it had. Dr. Wells personally came and spoke to her, seeking her out to unknowingly help him with his schemes as he promised her greatness with a chance to change the world of genetics as they knew it. He certainly hadn't been kidding.

She didn't let the Reverse-Flash taint the memory though or the moment. She had always been caught between hating the man for his lies, for everything he’d done to Ronnie, Eddie, Barry, Cisco and everyone else’s lives he destroyed or changed forever and being a tiny bit thankful (though she’d never dare admit it out loud) that he had set her on his course to meet them all in the first place. They were the only family she had and in some twisted way he gave her that and she was grateful. Especially when she caught Barry’s giddy grin reminiscent of a school boy and couldn't help but smile back as he took her hand again and pulled her into the action instantly vanishing all thoughts of her old mentor from her mind.

Together they walked the main hall passing small demonstrations of things like the science of sound waves for Opal City's hero, Pied Piper, and safety around the abundance of radiation metas to a large stand of “Central City’s Hero” with a big picture of the Flash and the question “ _How is the Flash so fast?_ ” printed across it.

They watched their demonstration with a miniature wind tunnel to show Flash’s aerodynamics before walking away as Caitlin giggled into her hand at Barry’s eye roll when they started pitching the Flash’s powers potentially being because of super speed shoes. Clearly most of this was theoretical as the public still didn't know the full truth of the particle accelerator. But she had to admit she was impressed at how close a few of them were. She even caught a glimpse of a few cosplayers in the crowd, the ones of Captain Cold and Heat Wave were particularly good. She made sure to snap a few pictures on her phone to show Cisco later.

The only cloud that came was when they passed a cryokinetics booth, Killer Frost's face printed on their poster board as they spoke of the science behind how exactly she could create an ice slide out of water molecules in the air to a gathering crowd. Barry quickly noticed the slight downturn of her smile as a pang echoed through her chest.

“Oh, Cait, I’m sorry, I should've thought with the Metahuman theme and all that there might be something for her. I mean she's pretty popular so of course--” Barry started with what she knew was gearing up to be one long rambling apology but she quickly stopped him, turning on her heel and putting her hand on his chest. His words abruptly halted as his green eyes went wide and she could've sworn they ticked downwards for just a moment.

She desperately wanted to tell him about how she had taken samples of Splicer’s DNA before they sent the meta to Iron Heights. About the research she had begun on the possibility of duplicating his powers in order to get Frost back. About how her preliminary findings were looking promising. But she knew even the idea of the potential risk that could have would only have him worried into a fit over her. And as frustratingly cute as he could be when he fretted she didn’t want that possibly ruining the great night they were already having. So she simply leaned in close and whispered, “Barry, it's okay. Really.”

He nodded his head, clearly relieved but still looking a touch concerned, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. And besides how can I be upset when there's that?” She nodded over his shoulder. He turned to look and couldn't help but laugh at what she saw. A couple holding hands and cosplaying as Flash and Killer Frost.

“Come on, we got to get a picture with them for Cisco,” Barry said excitedly taking her hand once more and leading her into the crowd. Usually she wasn't a fan of being dragged around but with Barry’s fingers intertwined with her’s and a smile plastered across his face she had to follow happily along, skipping steps to catch up with his long strides and thanking herself for not picking the high heels.

After finally catching up and snapping a picture with the pair unknowingly cosplaying their alter egos Barry took her to the exhibits in the museum that Caitlin was sure were usually flooded with children but now was open for her and Barry to explore. He somehow brought a side out of her she thought was lost to her so long ago as they ran around doing each activity they could get their hands on. One after the other, each game breaking down a wall she had exhaustedly maintained for years, even against Barry. Sending the proverbial defenses crumbling into heaps around her. But when each one fell she could only smile more.

Racing water rockets in the turbine hall, heckling him as her competitive streak came out making him laugh triumphantly when he beat her yet again. Which she would forever insist was only because he let slip he thought the way her nose scrunched when she was determined was cute just before they were to go, thus he cheated. An accusation he feigned innocence at with one of those cheeky smiles that made her heart flutter.

Playing with various sorts of simple but entertaining experiments in the physics lab, where she also had to stop him from touching a Van de Graaff generator worried what combining all that static and the speed force electricity in his body would do before biting back a laugh at his overly exaggerated pouty face.

Taking a ride in an enclose aircraft flight simulator Barry let her drive, both of them erupting into laughter when she crashed it so spectacularly into a virtual mountain after spinning ridiculously out of control.

Her raving and adding information about every little thing in the life science lab. Sharing in her animated way factoids about the nervous system, human anatomy, musculature, and any other biological thing they had on display. Self-consciously glancing up at Barry again and again to see if she was boring him like she had so many others but only ever found him listening attentively with a small fond smile and a starry like gaze she didn't quite understand but had been seeing more and more in his eyes recently. It made her blush harder each time.

They even made soap in the chemistry lab, or tried to at least, in big clunky goggles, ridiculously oversized gloves, and too short of lab coats which all ended up a complete disaster with neither one paying as much attention as they should. Getting distracted by stealing glimpses at each other, acting no better than crushing teenagers in lab class, causing it all to nearly bubble over leaving them both in even more stitches than the simulator.

“Isn't one of your doctorates in some sort of chemistry or another?” Barry teased, bumping her shoulder lightly with his as they left the lab without any bits of soap like all the other participants had created.

She bumped him back in return making a face, “So what if it is? Who are you to talk Mr. Masters-Degree?”

“Hey I’m not the one who turned the burner up too high,” He countered playfully before making the face right back.

Caitlin laughed easily, her face hurting from the overuse in this night alone, as her hand so casually slid into his it was surprising, nearly overwhelming even. She laughed again, more to herself this time at the notion she had ever been nervous. Being around Barry had always been so easy, why had she thought this would be any different?

“What?” He asked looking at her thoughtfully, some of his amusement still lingering in the crinkles around his eyes. But despite his question she figured he knew exactly what was on her mind. He always did.

“Nothing,” She smiled back contently, caught in her own little surreal moment. Feeling lighter than she had in a long time. Swinging their arms between them as she noticed a sign for the Light Lab he had mentioned earlier pointing upstairs. Gesturing with her hand she asked, “Want to go up?”

He nodded with a grin and followed her this time as they ascended up the stairs onto the dark upper floor. They wandered around the dimly lit exhibit hall in slight awe, more reminiscent of an art gallery than a science expo now. There were so many pieces it was hard to pay attention to just one.

A set of boxes with 3D projected images that looked so real it boggled her mind, a flickering light that made water look like it was going back into an aluminum oil can rather than out of it, the tingling of where Barry’s hand had been on her back as she looked through a hole to line up a row of metal facial profiles that when looked at from the right prospective formed a full human head and he was leaning in close to do the same. There were also hanging light strings that formed images, a place to play with shadow puppets, and then finally they made it to the Infinity Room.

“Woah...” She heard escape from under Barry’s breath as they stepped inside. All alone in a completely mirrored room (even the back of the door after Barry closed it) except for the small platform they were standing on that had a string barrier around it to dissuade people from walking any farther.

And she could see why, in addition to the mirrors there were all sorts of colored lights varying in sizes and ever changing in colors, twinkling and blinking so much it almost looked like Christmas. The lights combined with the mirrors in a clever Droste or ‘infinity’ effect creating an illusion of eternity around them in the reflections. As if the room expanded for miles in all directions even downward and upward, with no end in sight, lit solely by the colorful lights sparkling in every direction, like you could walk right off the platform straight into it. Caitlin felt like they had been dropped right in the center of a technicolor starry night sky. As if it was a scene out of those movies Barry liked where the couple ended up dreamily in the clouds. It was enough to take her breath away but what actually did was when she turned and saw Barry standing in the middle of it.

He was smiling at her, the greens, blues, reds, and other multitudes of colors in the lights catching in his eyes, bouncing off his skin and hair. She wanted to pinch herself hoping she wasn't dreaming, and by the raise in his brows she could tell he was hoping the same.

“Caitlin...” He let out in that breathless way he said her name that always ran shivers up her spine, “I meant to say this earlier but you just look-- _wow_ ,” He muttered out, eyes flickering over every inch of her again.

She couldn't think of a thing to say, her mind nearly blank as he began to get closer. Even if she could say something she was sure it would come out as unintelligible. Her eyes watching him widely before she shyly dipped her head when he stopped within inches of her, glad the colors dancing around them would hide her blush. Her heart beating hard against her chest.

But after a moment where he hadn't said or done anything she took the chance and glanced back up at him. He was still staring, eyes casting a look she’s seen him use on her a few times before, the one that for years she hadn't been able to read.

It was so intensely focused on her with knitted brows, like he couldn't drink enough of her in. But this one was different than all the ones before as his eyes darkened just slightly and the thought of what he could be thinking now made her insides flutter. Finally she whispered, “What is it...?”

“Nothing,” He replied automatically, matching her low volume, like he hadn't even heard her question as he inched another step forward. She barely caught how he gulped before reaching out and tucking some loose hair behind her ear, fingers lingering, or the shaky breath as he said, “I’m just realizing this is something I should've done a long time ago...”

The tension in her chest eased instantly as she smiled and scrunched her nose at the memory his words brought back, “Oh, no, Barry, please don't say that.”

“Why? What's wrong?”

“Nothing.” She chuckled shaking her head a little, she wasn't going to let an old memory ruin this moment now as she laid her hands against his chest, one sliding up to his shoulder while the other remained over his heart. Shifting closer, they were almost stepping on each other’s toes now, she felt his heartbeat race above its naturally quickened pace beneath her palm, “I’ll tell you later, just-- continue.”

Barry’s confusion quickly melted back into a smile and he wrapped his hands around her waist. She couldn't help but stare at the lights reflecting and mixing with the green in his eyes, getting lost in them until they fluttered shut as he leaned down to kiss her.

_Thunk!_

The door flew open and they jumped apart as a group of rowdy college aged kids filed in, drinks in hand, and a small vindictive part of her really wished she could go frosty on them or at the very least yell at them in her doctor voice. But her annoyance was quickly dampened by Barry's soft chuckle over her shoulder and hand slipping into her’s.

“Want to go get some food?” He asked with that dopey grin and she nodded returning his smile easily. It’d take her awhile to get use to _how_ easily.

They made their way back to the restaurant downstairs hand in hand, treading so closely they were brushing shoulders. She could feel the tension still hanging over them, both of them itching to get back to where they left off but couldn't quite escape their public setting just yet. So instead they ate their food, watching a live band play popular yet ironic songs like “Weird Science”, “Rocket Man”, and even the impossibly fast paced “Chemical Calisthenics” rap which she promptly threw a fry at Barry for suggesting they do that one to karaoke. But her retaliation only made him laugh, his eyes twinkling impishly at her as he ate the fry she had thrown.

So they ate, listened to the music, and began to talk and laugh about anything and everything they could think of. From theories about the multiverse and what other worlds may be like, to debating the best pizza place in the city (a much harder decision when they couldn't default to Keystone). Finally after both of them caught themselves in one too many lingering looks, a tingling flutter building in Caitlin's stomach with each one, Barry leaned across the table and said,

“You wanna get going?”

All she had to do was nod before Barry got their coats and _whooshed_ them back to the block of her apartment building. She unsuccessfully tried to hide her smile at the idea he didn't go right to her door to keep talking.

“Wait, wait, wait so when Everyman made himself look like me he... _kissed_ you?” Barry asked her in disbelief as they got off the elevator.

She bobbed her head a little, quietly answering, “Yes...”

“Well now at least it makes sense why he kept changing into you when facing me and why _you_ acted weird around me. But... he would've known we weren't a thing yet if he kissed you right? So why did he keep using you?”

“Because I may have... kissed him back,” She confessed her long kept secret slowly, blushing horribly as she hid behind her hair.

“What? You kissed him back?”

“Well I thought he was you!”

Barry only looked bewildered though, if not a little hurt, “So you wanted to kiss me? Way back then? Why didn't you tell me?”

“Well you were still interested in Iris and I was still dealing with the fact Ronnie had been alive and we were just finding out that Dr. Wells wasn't who he said he was, so a lot was going on and I was very confused,” She rambled out causing Barry to chuckle just under his breath, “It's not funny! Oh this is so embarrassing...”

She groaned hiding her head in her hands but Barry reached over and gently pulled them away from her face, smiling guiltily down at her, “You don't need to be embarrassed, I’ve kissed a version of you I’m pretty sure you haven't known about either.”

“You w-what? Who? When?” She sputtered out. Barry had kissed someone he thought was her without saying anything? When had this happened? Her mind began racing down a mental list of metas they had faced for one who may have been able to trick him.

Barry rocked on his heels, unable to hide his sheepish grin as he said the name of the one meta she didn't think of, “Killer Frost.”

Suddenly the memory of them laying in the street came back. Her memories from her night as half-Frost were still quite fuzzy even after all this time but this one was becoming clearer by the millisecond, like something inside her finally wanted her to see it.

_“I’m sorry, Caitlin.”_ He had said as they grimaced on the icy pavement with her lying next to him. Her shoulder brushing against his. She remembered the feeling of how warm he was against her, especially when she was so cold.

_“That was cold, Flash, but this is colder._ ”

And suddenly she was on top of him, kissing him. For a moment it was just them, his lips had met her’s and neither fought it but then the cold kicked in as her powers unleashed. The memory was over as quickly as it begun and her face was on fire.

“She-- I-- Oh if she was still here I’d write her a strongly worded note.”

Barry laughed loudly at her stuttering threat and she quickly shushed him, afraid he’d disturb the neighbors as they stopped in front of her door. Suddenly though a realization hit her and she whacked him on the arm with her purse.

“You are **more** than fast enough to get away from that, Barry Allen, even with a bad leg! She could've hurt you! Why didn't you move?”

He shrugged not bothering to look sheepish this time as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, his smile turning almost sly, “Maybe somewhere inside I was kinda... hoping it wasn't just the powers?”

She had thought she couldn’t get any redder but oh was she wrong. Her eyes quickly becoming glued to the floor. When Barry stopped bumbling he was far too charming for his own good. She could feel him getting closer until he stopped in front of her.

“How’d you remember that?” He asked her softly, honestly curious.

“Well I wasn’t _completely_ Killer Frost that night so I remember some of it but not in detail. It's hazy. The rest is just a blank except for a few parts here and there and now that moment in particular apparently...” She shrugged a little, not sure the rhyme or reason to her memory, timidly smiling as she looked up at him. The moment her eyes met his the sly grin he had been wearing fell to match her shy one.

A sudden sound of a door closing around the corner made them both jump, chuckling slightly at their own reactions as the bubble they’d found themselves in burst.

“So um... this is good night then?” Barry offered after clearing his throat.

Caitlin, suddenly remembering they were at her door and their night was at an end, tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice as she said, “Oh yeah, I guess so.”

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” He smiled at her.

“Me too,” She agreed tucking a lock of hair back behind her ear back as his eyes caught her’s again.

He inched closer, wringing his hands. She could feel the nervous energy beginning to radiate off of him in waves, “Um, Cait, can I uh... may I give you, you know like a good night um--”

“Kiss?” She supplied a little hopefully, leaning forward onto her toes.

Barry nodded mutely, a blush creeping up his neck as he awkwardly smiled at her. She grinned back easily, finding him utterly adorable.

“Of course you can, Barry,” She reassured him softly but raised a hand to pause him when he tripped a step closer, a mock suspicious expression on her face, “You _are_ Barry, right?”

His face quickly broke out into a laugh, her joke succeeding its purpose as his shoulders relaxed and his anxiousness all but completely dissipated as he nodded,  “Yeah I’m Barry, what about you? Are you _really_ Caitlin Snow?”

She reached up, her hands compulsively straightening the collar of his shirt before she rested them on his shoulders. Her eyes returning to his with a smile, “Most definitely.”

He beamed and uttered a quiet, “That's good,” that made her chuckle as they gravitated toward each other, unable to wait any longer, being drawn in like magnets, almost making it before his nose accidentally bumped into her’s, “Sorry, I, hmpf--”

She pushed fully up onto her toes before he could finish, silencing him with a kiss as her heart raced. It took a few moments for even the fastest man alive’s brain to catch up enough to kiss her back. It was slow and sweet, a little unsure at first but still perfect. Her doorstep all but forgotten as the lights of the Infinity Room twinkled behind her eyelids like they never left. Just her and Barry alone in a technicolor starry night. Warmth bursting in her chest out to the furthest edges of her extremities as she pulled him in closer.

When she finally pulled away Barry was slower to open his eyes, a bright dopey grin spreading across his face. She giggled at his expression as she reached up and gently thumbed off the hint of her lipstick that was left behind.

“Good night, Barry. I’ll see you tomorrow,” She told him softly, not quite able to bring herself to pull her hand away just yet as her finger tips traced along his jaw.

“Good night, Cait,” He answered that smile still absently on his face as his eyes followed her hand when she drew it back before coming back to meet hers. After a few more moments they finally began to separate. Dragging themselves apart until they fell away from each other with his quiet confirmation of, “See you tomorrow.”

She reluctantly slid back into her apartment, slowly closing the door between them as he watched her, gaze soft as could be. Once the latch finally clicked she braced her back against it, pulling her arms in close so her fingers could ghost over where his kiss had been, the widest grin spreading gradually across her face, straining her already over used facial muscles, as a small breathless “Wow...” was uttered. Her mind played the whole night over again at light speed. How could something so perfect happen to her? How could it have so closely played out like those old movies Barry got her to watch? With him as her very own Gene Kelly? She shook her head in disbelief as she stepped further into her apartment, looking around at it fondly, finding Barry's warmth had somehow imprinted itself inside it (or maybe it was inside her?) and suddenly nothing seemed so lonely anymore.

Unbeknownst to her Barry was still on the other side of the door with an identical grin and an equally breathless, “Wow...” tumbling from his lips wondering if that all actually just happened. How’d he ever get so lucky to have her in his life? Their date never went that well even in his wildest dreams. Oh he knew he had already fallen hard, but now he was simply beyond hope. Head over heels for the incredible girl he had just kissed. _Kissed!_ He _kissed_ her! Still able to feel her memory on his skin made him as giddy as Don Lockwood. Inhaling deeply with a smile so wide he was sure it was permanent and a disbelieving shake of his head. He made a cursory glance for anyone in the hall before racing quickly into the night. Already waiting impatiently to kiss her again tomorrow.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And during all this I imagine an episode where Cisco is leading the rest of the team to stop a meta while they desperately try not to ruin Barry and Caitlin's date by not calling them or even letting them know what’s going on lol Cisco putting a signal dampener around the museum, the whole nine yards ;)
> 
> As for the event itself it's based off the actual After Dark events held by the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry as is the Light Lab off their real Illusions exhibit from a few years back, but I also took some inspiration from the Chicago MSI as I've actually been to that one. But I heard about this event and couldn't help but think it was perfect for a Snowbarry date night. I hope you all did too! Let me know down in the comments!


	3. O... is for Opposites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "After an experiment goes wrong Killer Frost returns and Barry reflects on just how opposite they can be."

                                                                  

 

 

Barry Allen and Caitlin Snow had always been opposites, almost complete dichotomies even. Caitlin was always punctual and proper while Barry was constantly late and often a bit awkward. She preferred to be calm and logical, with a well prepared plan before acting. He was all heart, rushing head first into danger and simply going where his emotions lead him. She pushed her fears and any feelings she was afraid might cause her harm away, encasing them in a layer of ice. One on top of the other until it was built so high it would finally crack under the weight and crash down like a sudden avalanche. While he let his boil inside, like a pressure cooker, keeping a tight lid on it until it exploded. Until everything was shooting out in a fiery blaze, like bolts of lightning straight from the gods themselves.

_“Speed and cold are opposites.”_ Their best friend Cisco had once said, but surely he never meant it this literally.

Not as literally as an icicle flying by his head like a warning shot as he sped a few paces out of the way at least.

He had let her down, _again_ , let her slip away into the dark as he became obsessed with stopping their latest supermeta. Their relationship had been so new and he had been so scared he pushed her away. He wasn't there for her when she needed him. She hid away from him and he hadn't bothered to look closer.

Trying to get Frost to reappear, trying to use Splicer’s powers on herself, an experiment gone wrong. _He should've been there._ It worked, but not like it was supposed to. Killer Frost took her chance, she took over Caitlin once more and turned against him. He still sees it every time he closes his eyes.

_“Why are you doing this? I thought you were on our side,” He grimaced on the floor of a frost covered Cortex, shattered ice and glass around him as Killer Frost towered over where he lay._

_“I’m on Caity’s side, not yours,” She had snarled at him in that layered voice, the icy undertone sending a chill straight down his spine._

_“That's the same thing!” He shot back, as he tried to sit up but she blasted a thick layer of ice around his waist that kept him pinned to the cold ground._

_“Is it, Flash? Is it really the same? She's been suffering for weeks. Trying to get through to you and you never listened. Too focused on your own problems, as always,” She added her last words with a particular form of malice, like it was a given, one she wished not to come to pass but had anyways, “But not anymore. I won't let you hurt her ever again.”_

_“Cait, you can fight this! Fight her!” He called as she walked away, “Cait!” He melted the thick ice with vibrations as fast as he could and when finally free he ran all around the building and out, even the surrounding blocks, but she was nowhere to be found._

_He should've been there._

“Leave us alone, Flash! Caitlin doesn't want to see you!” Frost shouted at him, hands poised to shoot more ice from her position down the street on the night he finally caught up with her.

“That's where I think your wrong. Let me talk to her, I need to tell her I’m sorry,” He insisted, trying to keep his voice unwavering.

“All the fake apologizes and empty promises in the world won't fix it this time! Every time I've shown up it’s because you’ve **_forgotten_ ** ! After all her excuses for you have finally run out! So we’re not listening anymore! We help you and then you forget about us! All I wanted was to talk to you!” She shot back at him, it stung but his mind got hung up on her words in particular. _Us? We’re? I?_ Killer Frost was including herself in the pain, did she feel it too? Maybe Barry was going about this wrong. They had been treating Killer Frost as a different person entirely, just a side effect for so long he’d forgotten she was really just Caitlin. Her most fragile broken parts, all her pain, made bare for the world to see. All of it personified and exposed like a raw nerve ready to defend itself to the last breath as it pushed Caitlin to safety below the ice and cold.

“I’m sorry,” He called across the long stretch of pavement between them. He had apologized so many times once he realized his past mistakes but now he felt more adamant in his words than ever before. If that was even possible. Frost, _no_ , Caitlin faltered just slightly as he dared to start walking towards her without fear, yanking back his mask as he did letting the fire he felt inside show through his eyes, “I’m sorry Caitlin! I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everything! I’m sorry for what I did to you, for each and every time I abandoned you! You were struggling, I saw it then pretended like it wasn't happening and I don't have a good reason why. Not one that'll ever be good enough. So I get why your mad, Cait, why you’re hurt. I was wrong and you’ve always had to pay some of the highest prices for my mistakes but I--”

He faltered, the glint in her eyes even under the dim street lights told him she noticed, did he dare say it? They were still relatively early in their dating relationship and had promised each other to take it slow, but their feelings in general certainly weren't new. He’d felt this way a long time coming and it needed to be said.

“But I’m in love with you Caitlin Snow, Frost, all of you and I won't apologize for it. That is _not_ a mistake. Not now, not ever.” Finally he was right in front of her, toe to toe like they had been when her powers had first taken over that dark night years ago. Her blue eyes skimmed over him, darting and unsure, “I understand if you can't forgive me, I should've been there, but know I am sorry and I will spend every day of my life trying to make it up to you.”

Caitlin’s pale jaw clenched as she looked away from him, “What are you doing, Flash? I’m not your Caitlin, you don't love me and I don't love you.”

“Yes I do,” He told her honestly, “Frost is apart of you, there's not a one or the other and we got to stop acting like there is. It's both, Cait, you’re both, and I love all of it. I love all of you.”

“You're lying,” She spat at him not meeting his eyes, “You always lie. Making promises you don't intend to keep. Pretending you care.”

He reached out and grabbed her arms, pulling her closer, the fire inside lashing out. She jumped in surprise at his sudden action, hissing as if he burned her, but didn't pull away.

“Caitlin, look at me and tell me if I’m lying,” He nearly growled. Reluctantly her icy blue eyes found his green, unable to resist his challenge, while trying her hardest to make them seem cold but he could see right through her frosty gaze, “Am I lying now? Am I lying when I say _I love you?_ ”

She trembled under his stare but her eyes held his. Searching them desperately before slipping out, “No.”

“So why would I lie about this?” His voice had gone soft again, his hands running down her arms, and for a moment her eye color flickered.

A smile pulled at him and he was about to speak again when suddenly her lips were on his. Cold to the touch but he kissed her back all the same. Almost instantly he began to feel winter air go into him, a chill racing down his throat, her powers trying to freeze him as she hastily pulled away. But one glance at her wide glowing white eyes told him she didn't mean it, she just didn't know how to control it. At the sight he cupped her cheek, tilting her head up as he closed the gap, kissing her again and this time vibrating himself to stay warm as the cold burned against him. Speeding up his molecules faster and faster, the friction building heat, warming himself and everything around them. She made a small noise of surprise before leaning in, deepening the kiss as she placed her freezing hands on him. The frost evaporating with a hiss as soon as it made contact with his vibrating body. The heat dissolving the ice at their feet into mist. Persistent crystals becoming steam. It all dissipating into the night air around them as they melted into each other.

_Speed and cold are opposites._

He felt her get warmer against him until she finally pulled away and he stopped vibrating. Beaming when he found her wonderfully warm brown eyes staring back at him, a smile slowly came to her face as well before reality seemed to hit her and it dropped as she began to tear up.

“Barry, I’m so sorry. This is--”

He placed his hands on her arms again to get her to look at him, his thumbs rubbing at her shoulders soothingly, “No, Cait stop, don't apologize. It's okay, it’s not your fault. Do you remember anything I said?” He asked desperately, knowing she probably didn't but if that was the case he wanted to say it all again. She **had** to know.

Caitlin paused to think before suddenly her eyes blew wide and met his, “I... I do. I remember everything. Barry, I remember everything!” She cried relieved as he pulled her into his arms for a hug. He was just as relieved as she was. She was back and her and Frost were finally in tune, or at least it was a start. But then he felt a chill of a completely different kind when she whispered into his ear, “I love you too.”

He pulled back again so she would see him smile, to let her know he heard her, but could only stare in awe as the white of her hair melted back into auburn before his eyes, except for a few white streaks that remained like highlights. It made his eyebrows shoot straight up. He couldn't help it, it was a _good_ look.

“Is something wrong?” She asked when she caught his shocked expression but he shook his head with a grin.

“No, I’m just... really glad you’re okay.”

She looked a little suspicious but smiled anyways as he pulled her in to another tight hug, kissing her head and holding her close, making up for the lost time he so desperately wanted to get back.

From the outside some people called her cold, frigid and guarded, while others called him warm, too warm sometimes, hot headed even, but together they were something else entirely. Temperate and balanced, like when positive and negative charges meet. Perhaps there was grounds to the saying opposites attract. Barry had said it himself once, though he wasn't sure he entirely believed it back then. It had felt like more of an excuse than anything. But now with Caitlin back in his arms, the fire in his veins finally extinguished and the cold around her heart melting away, he found he couldn't agree more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed! Getting onto the angsty side of Snowbarry Sorry ^_^' can't be fluffy all the time with these two lol
> 
> If you guys want updates or sneak peaks on future chapters and stories just head over [here](https://twitter.com/TwilightsInfern) to my Twitter and let me know!


	4. W... is for Whole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lost once more Caitlin wonders if she can ever be whole again, that is until Barry Allen sits himself beside her."

                                                                

 

Some days were better than others, but unfortunately today was not a good day. After searching for a beaker fruitlessly until Cisco had informed her it had been destroyed by her own ice a little over a week ago Caitlin quickly excused herself from the Cortex. Ignoring his concerned questions as she left.

Despite everyone's insistence everything that had happened with her Frost side was okay she couldn't make herself believe it was. And while she was relieved to not have to worry about unaccounted for time and blackouts anymore it had been easier to move on when she didn't remember every cutting word that fell from her lips. But now along with her memories she had slowly fading white highlights that stuck in her hair, reminding her of what happened every time she caught glimpse of them.

Barry, on the other hand, loved them, always playing with them between his fingers while saying things like _“for someone with cold powers you're ridiculously hot,”_ and even though it always made her laugh she couldn't bring herself to appreciate them in the same way he did. Not with everything she had done to get them.

And yes, she hadn't teamed up with the bad guy this time around but she still had hurt those she cared about. How many more times could she do so until they finally gave up on her? Frost was apart of her, fully this time, but still a side of her that she had trouble looking at. If she and Frost really were the same that meant she was capable of everything Frost had ever done and that thought alone made her feel so much colder.

“Hey.”

Barry. He had found her. Although she wasn't startled by his sudden call, she had sensed him hovering in the doorway watching her for awhile now. Somehow, even long before she became so sensitive to the heat he simply radiated as a speedster, she had possessed the ability to feel his presence whenever he was nearby. Her only surprise was he had taken a little longer than usual to locate her. To be fair to him though she had gone down to the speed lab rather any of her usual spots.

“Hey,” She said back quietly as he made his way forward.

“I like to come down here to think too,” Barry offered, gesturing to what she was sitting on. Running his hand over the top of the safety bar when he finally reached her, “It makes me think of you.”

She didn't say anything, chewing at her lower lip as she watched him walk around front of their old cosmic treadmill. She certainly thought it ironic they found themselves back here, they've had many of their moments through the years on or around this treadmill. Maybe that's why she came here in the first place. It made her think of Barry too.

“Just like old times, huh?” Barry spoke her thoughts as he lowered himself next to her onto the belt of the machine, “I still remember our first conversation on this thing.”

“When you offered to go down to the particle accelerator with me?”

He shrugged. “I could tell you just needed someone with you. And time to process.”

“No one else did.”

“Well... I recognized the look.” She looked up at him desperately hoping he would again. He smiled sadly, “Just like I do now.”

“What do you see?” She asked scooting closer to him and putting her head on his shoulder. He readjusted so he could put an arm around her, resting his head against her’s, as her fingers reached up to play with the soft fabric of his sweater.

“You’re scared.” She remained silent but with a small nod of her head urged him to continue, hearing him say it was so much easier than doing so herself, “You wanted Frost back but it was easier to accept her when she wasn’t really you, but now that we know she _is_ you and you’re her it’s...”

“Complicated,” They finished together then gave small hollow chuckles.

“Barry, I--” She started but he cut her off pulling away slightly so she could see him.

“No, Cait, don’t apologize. I’ve already told you--”

She cut him off in return, “Please, I _have_ to say this.”

He opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it and nodded letting her continue, a fact for which she was unspeakably grateful. She had been holding back her words for far too long now.

“I know you don't think I have to apologize but I do. I... I convinced myself that I could get my powers back on my own. I kept thinking you had enough on your plate and it was never the right time. You know I’ve never been that good at asking for help, especially when I’m scared. I honestly thought that I had moved on from that, but it just kept coming back and I just couldn't fight it. I wanted Frost to be apart of my life and to be able to help the team again but as I got closer to finding her I couldn't tell if you wanted that too... but I never even bothered to ask. I just feared the worst and that was unfair to you. After everything we’ve been through and I just--” She paused a short moment to take a breath but continued before Barry could even think of speaking,

“What we have is _so_ good, it's one of the best things to ever happen to me, _you_ are, and I was terrified that if I brought you into this it would all disappear. I wanted to protect us and instead I almost lost everything in the process. I was so wrong and I know I will never be able to apologize enough but I am so, so sorry, Barry, for everything.”

Her voice grew thick throughout her weak apology, unable to look directly at him and when she finished she stared at the floor. She didn't know what she would do if this was it. If this is where it ended.

She had realized, even before she accepted how connected they were, she needed Frost. It was a part of her, a dark part perhaps but a part she needed her to make her whole. Frost let her help people in a way being a doctor never could. It let her help people the way Barry did, preventing harm and not just cleaning up after it. The way she always wanted too. It was the very essence of why she became a biochemist, finding a way to stop diseases and other genetic problems before the damage was done and not just treating them. But she needed Barry Allen too. He was everything she wasn't and yet everything she needed. And while she may be his personal physician it was nothing compared to how he was her own personal superhero.

He had barely known her when he started putting her back together initially, beginning with giving her a reason to smile and then a soul-bearing conversation on the very treadmill they were sitting now. Every hug, gesture, and grin he gave so freely afterwards simply clicked a few more pieces back into place. Some of them part of her old self and some of them brand new. The version of her he puzzled into shape was barely recognizable as the girl she was before yet felt more true to herself than she had been in a long time. And he was still doing so. Never satisfied as he kept chiseling away her pain and sanding at her rough edges, tirelessly giving every part of himself to make sure every piece fit together perfectly. The Caitlin Snow she was now was entirely Barry’s creation, every part of her etched with his signature.

And yet she somehow had thrown it all away, _again_ . Her stubbornness coupled with her fear made her shut him out, insisting it could be done without his help. Holding him at bay with the last few walls he had yet to conquer. Telling herself she didn’t want to burden him further in every possible iteration of the excuse there ever was. All while trying to regain her powers in such a similar way to how she once tried to get rid of them. Alone. _Why_ hadn't she learned from before? _Why_ couldn’t she have just talked to him? Was it really worth it if she lost him along the way?

No. It really wasn't. And yet that's exactly what she had done.

He opened his mouth to speak, snapping her from her thoughts as she braced herself but when nothing came out she risked a glance up at him.

He wasn't looking at her this time, his brows were knit tight and the masseter muscle in his jaw twitched as it clenched shut. He shook his head ever so slightly in the way she knew he wanted to argue with her. The type of argument where the fire that was already starting to burn in his eyes would only grow as he swore to her she was wrong in her assessment of herself and her actions. Always trying to make her see the version of her he saw. But to her surprise instead of arguing the fire died as quickly as it appeared and he sighed, defeated, as he said,

“I’m the one who's sorry, Caitlin. This is all my fault.”

The words were ones she had heard spill from him many times over, to her there were only a few times where they had actually been true and now was definitely not one of them. He had already apologized so much, he didn’t need to do so again. But when she opened her own mouth to say so he cut her off like she had him.

“No, Cait, I have to say this too. This _is_ my fault. I’m not blind. I remember the times I saw something was bothering you and I didn’t ask what. I could see it was important but I kept pushing it off and pretended like it wasn’t happening. I didn’t want something to be wrong because our relationship was so new and I was scared and I just keep making the same damn mistakes because of it.”

This was the first time she had heard of him being afraid, she knew something had been eating away at him but no matter how much she had asked he never told her it was fear. When had they started keeping secrets like this?

“What were you scared of?”

“Godspeed. He told me he’d take what mattered most to me. Said that if I kept interfering he would put everyone I cared about on ‘trial’, find them guilty of abetting me, and he would... _pass his judgement_ \--” Her eyes ticked down briefly knowing how the self-righteous speedster had taken up the habit of putting a vibrating hand through the chests of people he deemed guilty. An act Barry had seen far too often for comfort-- “until I was all that’s left.

“At first I didn't really think about it, they all say stuff like that, but then I realized something. Snart, Zoom, Savitar they all said the same things and they all took you. Every one of them saw it long before I did, they saw how much you mattered to me. So I thought now that I saw it too what if that made you even more of a target than before? It terrified me and kept me up at night. I could barely look at you without seeing those nightmares.”

He reached out and took her hand so she’d meet his now swimming green eyes again.

“Because you _matter_ to me, Caitlin. You’ve always meant something different, right from the start. I said I love you and I mean it. If the villains weren't oblivious to it before they certainly won't be now. It's always been you, how could they not know?” He gave a breath of a laugh but it was humorless, bitter. He hated how their enemies targeted her. She could see his mind drift back to dark memories, her’s did too. Flashes of lairs, chains, and too many close calls, “I _couldn't_ risk Godspeed coming after you... I couldn't take it if you... not agai--”

Caitlin watched as the man she loved fell apart in front of her. His voice failing before he could finish and tears welling in her eyes when they escaped from his, holding his hand as he gripped her’s like a lifeline. His head falling forward as his shoulders shook, and not for the first time reminding her of the Greek titan Atlas and his punishment to bear the weight of the world upon them. Pulling himself in so small she worried it would crush him. So she scooted closer, transferring his hand to her other one so she could link her arm around his and pull herself in further still, pressing against him, hoping that maybe if he felt her presence firmly enough he’d let her take some of his load like he had taken so many of her’s over the years.

Finally his voice returned, raspy as he spoke again, “ _I_ put the distance between us, _I_ was the one who pushed you away. I was so hellbent on taking him down before he got to you that _I_ lost you. You didn't do this to yourself, this wasn't your fault. It was mine. And I’m so sorry, Caitlin.”

His body wracked as he leaned into her, his free hand wiping at his nose and the tears that were trailing down his cheek, crying quiet tears she knew must've been fighting to come out for awhile now. She shook her head like he had his as she unwound her arm from his to stroke his hair soothingly, wanting to argue with him and tell him it wasn’t his fault either. It couldn’t have been. He was just trying to protect her, protect everyone, like he always did, by running in head first. Completely disregarding his own safety and sanity for everyone else’s benefit.

But she wouldn’t argue, she knew telling him it was alright and he wasn’t to blame would have no effect. He’d nod and pretend he heard her when he really didn’t, the hole in his heart would just get bigger and he'd just run faster. No, there were no more excuses this time. They both needed the truth and she realized that may very well be that they were both at fault here. He should’ve talked to her, and she should’ve talked to him. It was a bitter pill perhaps but they both needed to hear it.

“I think... you and I need to realize that despite having these abilities we’re only human and sometimes even we need a little saving too.” He brought up his head so his gaze met her’s. His green eyes were wide but slowly the light started returning to them as he nodded. His mouth twitching into a small smile. He had heard her, in relief she gave a small smile as well and added, “Even as _terrible_ as you and I are at asking for it.”

He let out a small chuckle, his smile growing just a little as he bobbed his head in agreement. Then his gaze came back to her, sobering quickly. His intensity returning as he changed the course of their conversation back to where it began.

“Look Cait, about Frost... I understand. I do. I remember seeing Savitar for the first time. He wasn't some clone or evil twin, he _was_ me. He had just been broken and forgotten and that made me realize I’m capable of everything he did. Staring at the darkest parts of you personified it's... _hard_ , but everyone is capable of doing desperate things when they're scared or angry or hurt. You and me especially it seems... But as long as we've have each other I know we'll be okay.”

She tried to give him a smile but knew she failed miserably. She wanted to believe him so badly, but so much had proven otherwise. Realizing they needed to be more open was one thing, saying they’d keep each other from from falling apart was another. There were so many times already when they did have each other and unraveled at the seams anyways, unable to catch the other in time before they fell off the edge into the dark. Flashpoint. Killer Frost. Savitar. And so many other missteps that were just like everything that lead them to sitting here now in the aftermath of their mistakes yet again. But suddenly Barry took her hand again, gently intertwining his fingers with her’s to draw her attention back to him.

“Hey, I know a lot has happened between us but no matter how distant we got or how badly it all fell apart we came back to each other eventually. We always do. And yeah you’re right, we’re only human, we still make mistakes and sometimes we break the things that are most important to us. But no matter what happens it's gonna be you and me until the very end, I truly believe that. We just got to be a little braver and tell each other if we're scared or if we feel like we're on the edge. I’m tired of trying to do everything alone. It’s never gotten us anything but more trouble. So from here on out if we're going to break, Cait, I’d rather to do it _with_ you. Is that okay?”

She nodded a little feeling her heart constrict at his words, she didn't want to break anywhere else but with him either. She had broken alone far too many times now. What would it be like to break in his arms again? Like she had in a past that felt like lifetimes ago now? Could they ever get back to that?

He bumped her shoulder lightly with his, trying to pull her from her thoughts and get a small reaction out of her as he joked, “And come on even while being supervillains it was still you and me. If _that_ didn't keep us apart, nothing will.”

“Let’s not try that again anytime soon, okay?” She requested trying make her tone light like his but not quite managing it, her already meager smile faltering as her voice shook.

He smiled for her, it always came so much easier for him, “Okay.”

There was a pause between them. She could feel Barry's eyes studying her as he ran his thumb over her hand soothingly. Trying to see if his words had gotten through to her. Finally she spoke, her voice so quiet she wondered if he would even hear it,

“I think I’m just going to stay here awhile...”

Barry nodded before reaching over and brushing back her hair to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. He lingered there, taking in a long breath. Taking in everything that was her, broken parts and all, and loving her anyway. Her eyes closed at his touch and eventually he pulled away. The smile he gave her was soft as he understood her occasional need to process alone, it was one he shared, but no matter what he always took the time to make her feel loved before he left.

“I’ll see you later?”

She nodded in return but as he got up to leave she grabbed his arm. He raised his brows in a curious look before she gently pulled him back to her and gave him a kiss. She wanted to at least try and thank him for all he did, and maybe provide some of the comfort, some of the love, he always gave her in return. If that was even possible.

“See you later,” She confirmed giving him a small smile as he grinned back fondly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He caught her hand as she pulled away, placing a tender kiss in her palm that made her blush before he let go, eyes twinkling once more as he stood up. She watched him leave and pause at the door to give her a small adorable wave that she shyly returned before he disappeared down the hall.

Barry Allen certainly continued to amaze her at every turn. His faith in her always completely baffling her mind, as did his belief that things would always work out in the end. Bringing his ingrained hope to her natural cynicism. She could feel his words starting to settle into her skin, sinking her veins before going straight to her heart. He was right, no matter how far apart or broken they had been they always came back to each other eventually. Like magnets that couldn't help but attract back to its pair. Back to each other's arms. One could only stay away from home for so long, she supposed. She knew one day soon they'd make it back to a time where they could talk about anything, where no matter what it was they sought each other's comfort first, where they didn't keep secrets and shared openly. And maybe that day was even sooner than she thought.

As she looked down at her hand she ran her thumb over her palm where his touch was still tingling against her skin and a small smile creeped onto her face. One of Barry’s many extraordinary powers may have been his ability to put her back together again as easily as an old favorite jigsaw puzzle but she wondered if he’d ever understand that he would never be able to just simply piece her back together. That no matter how hard he tried from his perspective it may seem as if there was always one piece missing. But she knew exactly where it was, the centerpiece to her picture was hidden inside the boy with the biggest heart she'd ever known.

Every glance had first hinted to her it was there, with every word her suspicion grew, and now with every touch, kiss, and time their fingers intertwined she felt the last piece clink back into place. With every megawatt smile she felt whole again and she couldn’t help but wonder if her smile made him feel the same way too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! This was the hardest chapter so far to write but I really like how it came out. If you did too let me know. This will probably be my last chapter until after Snowbarry Week as I gotta work on my prompts for that but the next one should be out sometime soon after that! Hope you all enjoyed, maybe I gave you some feels maybe I didn't, but feel free to let me know lol Thanks so much again for reading!


	5. B... is for Bestfriends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry notices Cisco has been acting weird around him and Caitlin for awhile now. It's finally time to get to the bottom of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, it's been awhile since I posted and for that I am very sorry ^_^' This chapter was unexpectedly challenging but I love how it turned out. This is kinda my love letter to OTF, Cisco Ramon, and the science trio I love so much who need more recognition. I hope you enjoy!

                                                               

 

 

“Hey Cisco, what up?” Barry asked that afternoon as he strolled into Cisco's workshop, casually hitting his hand on the top of the door frame as he came.

Cisco glanced up, raising his welding shield to look at him, that infectious grin on his face.

“Not much,” The engineer said before looking back down at his project, “Just working on these power cores for the new guns CCPD ordered.”

“New guns?” Barry asked curiously leaning over to look at it from the other side of the table. Though the lay out of Cisco’s complex sci-fi level engineering components, especially upside down, never made much sense to him.

“Yeah the metahuman task force wants a _bunch_ of new gear. They’re paying for all the bells and whistles. Nets, bean bag rounds, boot capabilities. These things are gonna be sick!”

“Ah, so this is where the raise I asked for went.”

“You’re just jealous of how Caitlin and I are the only ones bringing in all the cash,” Cisco beamed as he leaned back in his chair lacing his fingers behind his head, “So come asking for tips to get a grant, boss-man? Step one, Oliver and Felicity will always give you one. No questions asked. I mean, how do you think we keep the lights on?”

Barry chuckled, “Actually, I wanted to ask you if you had any plans this Friday night.”

Cisco’s smile fell slightly as he cast him a curious, almost wary, glance, “Why?”

“Well you know those After Dark things Caitlin and I have been going to every month?” Cisco nodded slightly, brows furrowing more by the second, “Well this month’s theme is ‘Fright Night’ and we know how you love horror films and we were wondering if you wanted to come too.”

“No thanks, bro. Besides you think they would’ve saved that theme for October, so lame,” Cisco commented as he got up from his chair, walking to his workbench, his usual humor instantly gone from his voice taking Barry by surprise.

“I um... yeah I guess that would’ve made more sense. Maybe there's a new horror movie coming out? They’re remaking everything nowadays, right?” Cisco rolled his eyes and Barry stepped forward to insist more adamantly, “Look I swear it’s really fun and we really want you to come.”

“And be a third wheel? Ha. No thanks.”

“Oh come on man, you wouldn’t--”

“Just lemme stop you right there. I can't anyways. I have to work on this order. Tight deadline and all, you know? Besides they might be showing The Shining, you know I hate that movie...”

Barry blinked a few times in surprise at Cisco’s rebuffing of his offer and how his friend wouldn’t meet his eyes. He retreated a step back as he tried to shrug it off.

“Right, yeah, okay... I’ll see ya later then...” Barry’s voice trailed as he waved his hands awkwardly while Cisco turned back to his work. He hesitated, almost opening his mouth to keep prodding the engineer before deciding against it as he scratched the back of his neck and walked out of the room.

But Cisco’s reaction stuck in Barry’s mind all day, especially since it wasn’t the first time something similar had happened. Over the last few weeks Cisco had declined his offers over and over when it came to hanging out with him and Caitlin. If it was playing video games with just him or going out with just Caitlin, their friend was fine, but going out with both of them? Cisco seemed to be avoiding it like the plague and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why. Questions were still churning in the back of his mind that night as he ate dinner over at Caitlin’s. Eating Chinese take out and rewatching _The X-Files_ with her on the couch while absentmindedly playing footsie in their socks as their feet rested up on Caitlin’s coffee table. 

“Why do we even watch this show?” Caitlin mused jokingly, breaking him from his thoughts, “We’ve dealt with aliens, parallel dimensions, and even kissed versions of each other that weren’t really us!” She exclaimed gesturing to the episode they were watching now then huffed, “Isn’t our life basically The X-Files?”

Barry chuckled, shooting her a grin, “It may have something to do with the fact we were both obsessed with this show _long_ before it became our lives.”

He for one had always loved this show. Being a kid who no one believed about a man in lightning it was no wonder he related to a show in which one of the main characters was always trying to prove the impossible (his long abandoned paranormal blog passed in front of his mind guiltily). And then, much to his surprise he had found out Caitlin loved the show too, it’s fairly solid scientific grounding fascinating her since childhood along with her father’s love for it. He adored listening to the stories she told him of her and her father binge watching the series while he was in hospice, honored that they had become close enough she was willing to share such important memories with him. Not just as her boyfriend, but as her friend.

“I did always want to be like Scully when I grew up,” She admitted with a small smile, “Careful what you wish for, huh?”

“That’s funny,” Barry said causing her to give him a curious raise of her brow as an impish smile came to his face. “I always had the biggest crush on her.”

“Oh really?” She asked as her brows arched higher. Barry’s grin just grew as he nodded.

“A kick ass gorgeous scientist with a genius mind and a medical degree? Are you really surprised? I just never thought I’d have a Scully of my own. My _one in five billion_ or I guess it’s one in seven billion now, isn’t it?”

Caitlin snorted rolling her eyes at him trying to counteract the blush that was coming to her cheeks, scrunching her nose ever so adorably, “Very cute, Mr. Allen.”

“Not as cute as you, Dr. Snow,” He teased, leaning over kissing her head quickly before pulling away earning him another blushing eye roll and a playful nudge to the side.

As they fell back to watching the episode his mind drifted. His thoughts rounding back to Cisco like they had been all day. It was hard not too when he knew exactly the sort of anecdotes Cisco would give at certain parts as they watched. What was their friend doing tonight? Why didn't he know? Was Cisco right? Had he become a third wheel?

“Hey Cait?”

“Yeah?” She asked, with one glance at him she paused the episode. Somehow able to detect his sudden change in mood as she adjusted to look at him better.

He sighed turning towards her, “Have you noticed anything weird about Cisco lately?”

“What do you mean?”

“I asked him to After Dark with us, but he said no and then acted really weird. And it's not the first time.”

“Yeah...” She sighed running a hand through her hair, “He keeps making excuses with me too. Do you think he's okay with us?”

“He seemed all for it, I mean he was on both of our cases to ask each other out. But now... he said he was a third wheel.”

“He said that?” Her voice came quietly.

Her concern grew quickly at his sad nod, the worry lines in her brow deepening as she bit at her bottom lip. Barry hated seeing her so anxious.

“Should we talk to him about it?”

“Let me try and talk to him first, okay?” Caitlin offered and Barry nodded.

He easily recalled the moment a few months ago they had told everyone they were officially dating and Cisco gave a quick proclamation saying as long as he got to be Caitlin’s man of honor at their wedding they would have his blessing, making them both flush as red as his Flash suit. Then he had turned to Barry with a well meaning grin, ‘ _Sorry dude, but Caitlin’s my best_ **_best_ ** _friend. My original bro. And it’s bros before... well ya know._ ’ Barry had chuckled and Caitlin playfully agreed that of course she'd have him as her man of honor. No surprise really, he had already known if that day ever really came she would chose Cisco, deal or no deal.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow then,” She decided then leaned back but didn’t play the episode. When Barry looked down at her he saw the concern still etched over her face.

“Hey,” He called softly. She turned to meet his gaze and he brushed back her auburn curls, the white streaks from her time stuck as Frost had grown out some time ago but it was still as beautiful as always and perfectly complemented the big brown eyes staring up at him. Worried but warm in a way he knew could soothe the hardest of hearts. Of which Cisco’s heart was no where close, “If anyone can talk to him its you.”

She gave him a thankful smile and a nod before leaning back into him and hitting play. They continued watching their show but neither one quite as relaxed as before. Thoughts full of their best friend.

 

***

 

The next morning Barry was working in his lab analyzing a skin sample through his microscope when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Curious he leaned back and fished it out, instantly smiling when he saw a text from Caitlin pop up. It was nothing more than a simple greeting but it still warmed him thoroughly as he sent back:

 

**Hey to you too ;) How’s it going?**

 

A few moments later her reply came,

 

**I talked to Cisco.**

 

Barry sighed scratching at the back of his head, that anxious weight he had been carrying since yesterday settling heavier onto his shoulders. 

 

**Everything okay? Want me to run over there?**

 

Her initial message came quick,

 

**No**

 

But Barry knew that wasn’t it, she just wanted to stop him before he took off because she took too long to respond. So he waited, his leg bouncing impatiently, as the three dots circulated in the bottom corner of his screen until finally a new text appeared,

 

**Everything's fine but do you think you could meet us at Jitters on your lunch break?**

 

Immediately he typed,

 

**Of course! You sure you don’t want me to just come by now?**

 

He waited for her reply anxiously, tapping his fingers on the desk. Just itching to run if she had changed her mind. If something was upsetting her he wanted to be there in an instant. So much so he practically leapt at his phone when it buzzed.

 

**You’re very sweet :) but no. Don’t worry, everything’s fine. We’ll see you at lunch. XO**

 

He couldn’t help but smile a little at her message, the return of her typical emojis and x’s and o’s calming most of his worries. So he sent her back a quick,

 

**XXXOOO ;) ;)**

 

And as the ‘seen’ check mark appeared under his message he could just picture, almost feel from across the city even, the eye roll she was doing. No doubt as a grin fought to spread across her lips. He beamed at the thought before tucking his phone back into his pocket, settling back in his chair with a heavy sigh. But his happiness was short lived as he remembered the look on Cisco’s face from the morning before. And though Caitlin sounded optimistic the clock on the wall began ticking so much slower as he waited for lunch.

 

***

 

A few hours later he flashed his way to the alley next to Jitters, quickly entering the warm coffee shop to escape the chill in the air outside. His eyes easily finding Caitlin and Cisco at their usual table in the corner.

“Hey guys,” He greeted, though felt a little awkward as he slid into the seat across from them.

Caitlin smiled sweetly at him pushing the drink he had texted her to order across the table to him, “Hey.”

He took the mug with a thankful nod then his eyes fell to Cisco, who wasn’t making eye contact. He cleared his throat a little, “Hey Cisco.”

“Hey,” His friend muttered causing Barry to look at Caitlin for help, she sighed.

“ _Cisco_ ,” She stressed his name firmly, and with the way he startled Barry could only guess she bumped him with her leg under the table.

Cisco huffed before finally sitting up straighter, “Caitlin has brought it to my attention I’ve been a little-- distant around you guys lately. Not so subtly might I add.” He shot a small look at Caitlin who only grinned innocently. It certainly peaked Barry’s interest for what had happened at the lab that morning.

“I just--” Cisco hesitated briefly before continuing on, “I guess I just thought having my two best friends together would be different...”

“What do you mean?” Barry asked before he caught Caitlin's gaze clearly telling him to be patient and let Cisco talk.

“Look man, no offense but when you got together with Iris, Caitlin and I practically ceased to exist. I mean we understood, priorities change when you’re in a relationship, maybe they shouldn’t change _that_ much, but still it was alright for the most part. We had each other at least.” Barry ducked his head, still ashamed of his behavior back then. His guilt softening a little at Caitlin’s sympathetic look. “Now don't get me wrong you guys, I want you two to be happy and I can tell you're happy. I mean I haven't seen either of you this happy in like-- _ever_. It's like you both got whammied by Cupid or something. And Barry, I know you’re sorry about how you acted, and we forgave you a long time ago. But I guess I’m worried it’ll happen again and this time it’ll be both of you while I’m the super awkward third wheel no one wants around. I just don’t want to go out with you guys only to be left out, you know?”

Barry sighed as Caitlin rubbed their friend’s shoulder comfortingly. Cisco's fear was perfectly understandable, Barry had certainly given him enough grounds for it in the past. He had been working so hard to set his past mistakes right. Nearly driving himself crazy trying to make up for his behavior once he woke up and realized what he'd become. He had sworn to them, and more importantly to himself, he would never be that man again. The empty shell he had seen staring back at him in the mirror that almost didn't realize he was losing himself before it was too late. And part of keeping that promise was he refused to put his friends second no matter what, and he knew Caitlin never would.

“You’re not a third wheel,” Caitlin tried to argue but Cisco just scoffed.

“Come on, Caitlin, let’s not kid ourselves here.”

This time Caitlin looked to Barry for help so he leaned forward ready to prove himself, “Cisco, listen. Caitlin and I talked about this when we started dating and we agreed no matter what our friendship was more important. That includes you. We promised ourselves we’re best friends and _then_ we’re boyfriend/girlfriend. Our friendship, with each other and with you will always come first.” Cisco looked up at him hesitantly then glanced at Caitlin who nodded, “And yeah we know some things are going to change a little but _we_ \--” Barry gestured to all three of them, “--won’t. We’re like Harry, Ron, and Hermione, man. Han, Luke, and Leia. Flash, Frost, and Vibe. You, me, and Caitlin, _we’re_ Team Flash and nothing’s going to change that. I promise. Not this time. And if it does, call us out. The last thing we want is to lose you.”

Cisco nodded, staring down at his lap seeming to mull over his words. Then he slowly picked up his head to meet his eyes with a small smile, offering hopefully, “STAR Labs forever?”

Barry and Caitlin chuckled, sharing a glance, before nodding.

“STAR Labs forever, bro,” Barry agreed holding up his mug in a toast like fashion, his two friends smiling as they clinked their mugs against his.

“So won’t you please come to After Dark with us? We want our best friend there,” Caitlin asked softly with a smile.

“Well...” Cisco looked between them, making both of them hold their breath expectantly until he broke out into the biggest grin, “It does sound pretty cool.”

They laughed in relief and Caitlin threw an arms around Cisco’s shoulders squeezing him into a hug that he playfully tried to push off while Barry grinned over the lip of his coffee mug at them. An anxious weight felt lifted off of him and as they talked and laughed through lunch Barry knew Friday was going to be a fun night.

 

***

 

“This is so _dope!_ ”

Barry and Caitlin smiled as Cisco darted ahead of them in the main hall of the Central City Museum of Science and Industry, wide eyed and giddy just like when Barry got them into Comic-Con, a grin plastered across his face as he ran from booth to booth.

“Maybe it’ll just be us tonight after all,” Caitlin joked taking Barry’s hand.

“Yeah, I already lost sight of him,” He chuckled before looking back at Caitlin and meeting her smile. 

She grinned as she bounced up onto her toes slightly, signalling to him that she wanted a quick kiss. He smiled, more than happy to meet her half way, kissing her sweetly before they were interrupted by their friend’s call,

“Yo Summer Lovin’! Let’s go! The laser show starts in two minutes!”

Caitlin rolled her eyes a little as Barry laughed, “Don’t think I’m not still upset you told him.”

“Hey you’re the one who let karaoke night even existed slip, not me,” Barry countered with a wink.

She retaliated with a poke to his chest, “But _you’re_ the one who gave him the details.”

“Oh did I?” Barry asked as he pulled away from her, beginning to walk backwards toward where Cisco was waiting so he could keep smiling at her cheekily.

“Don’t play coy, Mr. Allen. It doesn’t suit you,” She scoffed as she followed him, but still looked amused everytime he had to glance over his shoulder to make sure he didn’t run into anyone.

“That’s where we disagree, Dr. Snow,” He smirked, “And if I recall you have called my coyness... _adorkable_.”

“I did not!”

“Well, you may have been... slightly inebriated.”

“Barry--!”

But before she could finish Cisco appeared beside them and grabbed both of their wrists, dragging them towards the planetarium.

“You two are impossible. I mean you’re cute and all, and I love you guys, but sometimes you're just **nasty** , you know that? We’re in public. Control yourselves please!”

Barry and Caitlin laughed at their friend's overdramatics letting him drag them along to get seats for the Friday the 13th themed laser light show. As they stepped inside Caitlin and Cisco began bickering about whether or not Jason should be able to run after his victims while Barry grabbed the popcorn. He couldn’t help but shake his head at them when he rejoined their conversation. As much as he loved spending quality time with Caitlin it was hard to beat a night out with _both_ his best friends. And when they both turned to him demanding his opinion, the tie breaker, he couldn’t help but beam and wonder what he would ever do without them.

“I don't know, I'm pretty partial to running. Besides I don't see why he couldn't.”

“Ha! Told you!” Caitlin shot with a smug grin.

“You haven’t even seen it! You hate scary movies!” Cisco fired back.

“But Barry has!”

Barry opened his mouth to interject but was cut off by Cisco,

“Na uh, no more out of you lover boy.”

“Oh come on, man--” Barry tried to defend himself but Cisco was already pulling over a stranger.

“Excuse me but you think Jason should stick to the classic and terrifying slow movements or be able to run? I need to settle a _very_ important debate.”

The man blinked confused, “Uh sure, yeah him running was pretty cool.”

The stranger quickly left to rejoin his group as Barry and Caitlin tried unsuccessfully to hide their smiles. Sharing an amused look as Caitlin looped her arm with Cisco’s, rubbing it sympathetically, while Cisco groaned loudly,

“I hate remakes...”

Their laughters echoed throughout the planetarium as the lights began to dim and the three of them raced to their seats.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and sticking with me over this long break from this story! If you liked it feel free to let me know!


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